Implants for pets?
By Cat
I never thought neutering a dog was a problem.
But apparently, for hundreds of men — maybe thousands — it is.
So much so one Kansas City, Mo. company had made a name for itself selling testicular implants for pets.
(Yes, I said "testicular.")
More than 250,000 pet owners have bought into Neuticals, the plastic replacement parts for male dogs. And they come in a variety of sizes for a variety of pets, from gerbils to Clydesdales. The cost can range up to $1,200 for a pair.
"Neutering is traumatic," said founder Gregg Miller. "It's traumatic for the pet and for the pet's owner."
Really?
Is neutering your dog really that traumatic for men? I mean, it's not YOUR testicles that are being removed. So what gives?
According to the Neuticles Web site, more than 80 percent of pet owners, for various reasons, hesitate or even refuse to neuter their pets.
"He's a guy and I wanted him to remain looking like one," said Lane Hinderman of Metairie, La., as posted on the site.
I don't get it.
Spaying and neutering your dog has important health and social benefits. First off, you're helping with population control; more than 3 million cats and dogs are euthanized in shelters, according to the Humane Society of the United States.
In addition, it reduces the risk of certain health problems including mammary tumors, uterine infections and tumors.
So it makes sense to spay or neuter your pet.
But plastic replacement parts?
Can anyone explain this?
The Daily Dish
February 3rd, 2009 at 5:07 am
I had a male Akita a few years ago, given to me by the breeder. The dog was perfect in every way and would probably have won numerous Show events. Only one thing wrong....one of his testicles didn't drop so he would have been disqualified from any dog show. I thought about getting an implant for him but I still wouldn't have been able to enter him; besides, it would've been unethical.
His name was Kenji but I nick-named him One-Hung-Low.
February 3rd, 2009 at 5:50 am
I'm a veterinarian and encounter this attitude all the time. It is usually guys who are worried that their dog will be "less of a man" or they will not live a full life without experiencing the joys of sex =P I wonder where the Neuticles website got the greater than 80% statistics since that seems really high. Like Cat said, there is absolutely no reason NOT to spay/neuter your pet unless you are going to breed your pet. On average, they will live a longer and happier life after they are spayed/neutered. With the large amount of unwanted pets in the world, most pets shouldn't be bred anyways.
I have mentioned Neuticles to several clients who are hesitant to neuter their but no takers so far. One of my career goals is to put the largest size Neuticles available in a Chihuahua =) =P
February 3rd, 2009 at 5:57 am
For jaydee,
Couldn't resist...so his other nickname is Bali Hai?!
February 3rd, 2009 at 6:27 am
jaydee,
Hows about "uniballer"
February 3rd, 2009 at 6:43 am
Ohayo Gozaimasu Cat!
I never heard of such a thing for dogs, testicular implants.
It's a good thing they didn't cut mind off when I got a vasectomy.
February 3rd, 2009 at 6:46 am
maybe it's the same for women who get boob implants??? higher self esteem, more guys look @ them??? LOL... you got a cool job to get paid to write about dog's balls!
February 3rd, 2009 at 7:15 am
Too funny. That's all I can say. Thanks jaydee and you guys. Made my day brighter. Now I have this song stuck in my head. "Does you **** hang low, does it travel to and fro......"
February 3rd, 2009 at 7:21 am
Jaydee, Annodah Dave and mr1320:
you guys are hilarious! Thanks for the laughs gang!
February 3rd, 2009 at 7:23 am
You guys crack me up!
I tell you as intimidating as that dog looked he was real "skittish" and timid. I always wondered if that "high-ball" had something to do with that.
February 3rd, 2009 at 7:36 am
Hmmm. Back in the day a "highball" was a drink with hard liquor, preferably bourbon or scotch.
February 3rd, 2009 at 7:52 am
We are going to get our cat neutered as soon as possible. However, our vet charges over $200!! We are now looking at low cost neuter clinics. My only problem with that is it feels like we are bargain surgery shopping and that just feels wrong. But $200?!?!
February 3rd, 2009 at 7:53 am
I gave up trying to figure out pet owners when they invented overcoats for dogs. Like Norm Macdonald says: "It can be mean streets out there if you're a wiener dog in a cartigan."
February 3rd, 2009 at 8:01 am
PS. I had my female cat neutered when I lived in Japan, but I think the vet cheated me because she still became a complete slut. There were male cats strumming kotos around our house every damn night. Eventually she had a six pack of hellokitties and my wife insisted we must bring all of them back to the US - at 100 bucks a pop.
February 3rd, 2009 at 8:18 am
you can get a discounted rate on spaying and neutering if you pick up an application form at any satelite city hall. there are decent animal clinics that perform the surgery, and it's pretty cheap. i did it with my dog.
http://www.hawaiianhumane.org/programs/PDFs/NNbrochure.pdf
February 3rd, 2009 at 8:46 am
Hey, you know what would be funny? a gerbil with Clydesdale Neuticals.
February 3rd, 2009 at 8:55 am
C'mon Cat. This subject has guys cringing everywhere. I mean, a guy's thingamajings are very, uh, extremely, important to him. Especially if you're talking about crushing or removing them. Or even your dog's, uh, stuff.
I only had male dogs when I was younger, by choice, and we never chopped his assets. Cruel and unusual punishment. In fact, used to hunt the neigborhood for potential dog chicks we could hook him up with.
It does get bad, though, and one time our dog dug all night so he could escape under a fence - he wanted out so bad to be with his wahine.
Think it was Valentine's Day or something.
As to implants, if you are going to chop chop the marbles, I'm all for them. After all, it ain't like your dog got pants to wear. His assets, or lack thereof, are hanging out there for al the dog chicks to see.
February 3rd, 2009 at 9:02 am
@jaydee and others - thanks for the laughs!
Hmmm, I always wondered about spaying/neutering. I mean, I get that it's the responsible thing to do, to control the pet population. But, for the pet, it seems unnatural??? My sister told me her dog was MAD at her after she got neutered.
February 3rd, 2009 at 9:07 am
#3, HILARIOUS!!!
Seriously, it has tremendous effects on male dogs and makes them easier to socialize and less aggressive. Plus, they're pretty nasty to look at. My two 70 lb. male dogs sleep in our bed and it's bad enough to wake up with their okole in my face.
February 3rd, 2009 at 9:07 am
Whoops, meant to say "after she got spayed.
February 3rd, 2009 at 9:11 am
something is seriously wrong with our society. we nip and tuck ourselves, our dogs... will our children be next?! ahhhhhh!
February 3rd, 2009 at 9:54 am
What about doggie condoms? We can get the gov't to sponsor a study and classes on safe sex for pets. OR the pill for those b*#@*h.
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:04 am
Does anyone know if the recent incidents of pitbull attacks involved dogs that were not neutered?
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:32 am
I feel weird with all the mentions of testicles in todays blog, so I'm gonna sit this one out.
What about breast implants for dogs though? They would come in packs of 6.
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:18 pm
too painful to talk about.
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:39 pm
Forget the dogs, where can I get some of them implants!
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:50 pm
I recall a news story some time back wher a human testicular cancer survivor attempted to have neuticals implanted, but was denied since they were not approved for humans...
February 3rd, 2009 at 1:14 pm
#24: strategic trimming works wonders.
February 3rd, 2009 at 3:45 pm
testicular implants for pets......! oh one way to make money!!... MY DOG IS neuter and he still does the moves ....I DON'T THINK THEY SNIP enough!
February 3rd, 2009 at 4:12 pm
check that: i meant #25, Dman.
February 3rd, 2009 at 4:21 pm
I love dogs and everything, but this implant thing is nuts :-p
February 3rd, 2009 at 5:51 pm
what happens if they fall off? like during roughhouseing with another dog.and the other dog eats them?they might choke. or he tries a dry run at a female dog,could leave emotional scars.